tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post6555960518803468410..comments2023-08-06T00:55:44.689-04:00Comments on Kevin's Walk: thinking aheadKevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-29408676172114001382010-01-04T23:17:04.517-05:002010-01-04T23:17:04.517-05:00Kevin, I hope to get to see Suk, but may not make ...Kevin, I hope to get to see Suk, but may not make it. I have been thinking a lot about your whole family and just how much you all mean to me.<br />I am the eldest in my family. We didn't expect my father's death, but I was there when it happened. Most of our family shared stories at his remembrance service, but I gave the closest thing to a eulogy. First I asked what others might wish me to include and then I added my own more personal comments. I never really wrote it out, but had 3x5 cards to help me keep on track. <br />Of course, my father's death can't compare with your mother's death. My father was past the age most of us expect to die. That's easier to accept. Still, I was very close to him. At the service and afterwards in cards and letters I learned of all sorts of things he had done for people that I didn't know about.That, more than anything else, helped me come to terms with his death. And he lives on. Just today Lisa wrote me something that was part of his legacy to her.<br />Your mother has enriched many lives, including mine. She'll continue to influence our lives. <br />I love you all. Kwoodartyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16794456997645282803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-91168365324858465942010-01-04T20:10:26.118-05:002010-01-04T20:10:26.118-05:00I think "crutch" is the appropriate conc...I think "crutch" is the appropriate concept here when talking about a eulogy. When you're up in front of a bunch of people, fighting to stay mentally and emotionally coherent, written words give your scattered mind something fixed to hang on to-- a step-by-step way to get through each sentence. Without those words on the page, it's a lot easier to fly off the tracks and end up making no sense.<br /><br />Some people can hold it together even when eulogizing loved ones, and those folks might not have any problem saying all that they want to say. Not having done this sort of thing before (I have only one mother, after all, so there have been no practice runs), I have no idea how I might fare. Instinctively, I suspect the written word will work better for me; eloquence will be hard to find while I'm sobbing.Kevin Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-65285652837640580142010-01-04T18:03:43.796-05:002010-01-04T18:03:43.796-05:00Having no personal frame of reference, I can only ...Having no personal frame of reference, I can only imagine what you must be going through right now, but I thought I'd comment on the idea of a eulogy. It may just be my love of the written word, but I don't see prepared texts as crutches that allow a speaker to coast through a speech. I always prepare something when speaking in public for precisely the reason that you mentioned--whenever I speak extemporaneously, I always manage to leave something out.<br /><br />At the same time, I can understand why you might chafe at the idea of a eulogy--you may be thinking it could come off as cold and stilted. While I don't think anyone would blame you for reading something prepared in advance, how <i>you</i> feel about it is important. Perhaps you can come to a compromise. Write a eulogy, but allow yourself to stray from it if you feel like it. What I often do is prepare an outline of what I want to say, rather than a complete text, which both allows me to keep on topic and also benefit from on-the-spot inspiration.<br /><br />On a side note, it's interesting that you should mention the "neither snow nor rain..." bit. I was just reading an interesting web page on this very passage:<br /><br />http://www.billcasselman.com/word_notes/wn_page_four.htmCharleshttp://www.liminality.orgnoreply@blogger.com