tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81164789467788180812024-02-19T09:56:38.482-05:00Kevin's WalkOriginally an extended inquiry into America's religious diversity, this blog is now a chronicle of my mother's struggle against glioblastoma multiforme.Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.comBlogger2298125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-53792907778856133412012-03-12T13:31:00.001-04:002023-11-17T02:56:13.039-05:00the Marissa Parks I knew<blockquote><i>Its my birthday!!! Now, normally I would probably be depressed right now cause I'm getting "old". But today, I am celebrating getting old, and kind of happy about it! I love birthdays, and everything that they involve! I love dressing up, spending time with friends and family, being a princess for a day, taking lots of photos, cake, everything.</i><br />
--Marissa, blogging about her 25th birthday on February 18, 2011<br />
<br />
<b>This is Marissa Parks, and you left a message on blog. I am very sorry to hear about your mom, and the pain that most come along with that. I have been diagnosed GBM, and I appreciate all the information you passed along. I shared the information with my dad, and I think we will look into that program. I am flying to Houston in April to see what clinical trials that can possibly provide as well. Like you stated, my parents are doing most of the research because I can't stand to read it about it. I know the facts and what the doctors told. I googled it once, and I decided that was it for me, and have just decided to take it one day at a time.</b><br />
--from Marissa's very first email to me on February 23, 2011<br />
<br />
<i>I have the best friends!!! #thankful</i><br />
--Marissa's final message on Twitter, 8:43AM, January 13, 2012</blockquote><br />
Marissa Parks died this past weekend. I don't know the details, but at a guess, her death was due to complications related to her brain cancer, glioblastoma multiforme. Only a few weeks earlier, in February, Marissa had celebrated her 25th birthday. That same month, she had undergone a surgical procedure and had come out still walking, talking, and smiling-- all with difficulty, true, but Marissa seemed far from defeated. The news of her death, which I discovered only yesterday (Saturday, March 11) from an update on Marissa's blog,* came as a shock. I had no illusions that she was on her way to recovery-- GBM has no cure-- but I had somehow gotten it into my head that Marissa had more time.<br />
<br />
I never had the chance to meet Marissa face-to-face. What I know of her comes from (1) a few emails and Twitter DMs (direct messages) that she and I exchanged early in her fight with GBM, (2) whatever updates I saw on <a href="http://maparks.blogspot.com/">Marissa's blog</a>, and (3) several extended conversations with her father, Brad Parks. My picture of Marissa is that of a strong-willed, energetic, often stubborn young woman who, once she learned her diagnosis, had no room in her heart for self-pity. She was determined to keep living her life in a spirit of unrepentant joy. In her few emails to me, she showed she also had a great, perhaps even wicked, sense of humor. Like any headstrong young woman, she occasionally locked horns with her parents, but at the bottom of it all was love, the foundation for everything.<br />
<br />
Although I never met Marissa, I know that she loved and was loved. I know she had amassed quite a number of friends. I know how powerful her parents' feelings of love for her were-- and are. It pains me to think of Marissa's parents now: losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare. I can only hope they realize that, as hurt as they may feel, they did everything in their power for their daughter; nothing more could have been expected of them, especially in the face of a disease this relentless. Marissa herself did everything in her power to live a good and full life. What more can be asked of any of us? Life is a gift: merely waiting to die is not an option. Marissa took her gift seriously.<br />
<br />
A close friend and I were recently discussing the unfairness of the fact that the world moves on after someone dies. My friend had just lost his Korean mother-in-law, whom he had loved dearly. It doesn't seem fair that billions of people are untouched by the death of someone we love; in our heart of hearts, we'd like the whole world to grieve with us, and to stay grieving. This isn't what happens, though; the world just keeps turning. I would never counsel the recently bereaved simply to let go of their grief and "move on." That would be callous. But if I were to give any counsel, it would be this: take heart in the fact that the world is always moving, because it means we're all participants in a great story, and <i>that story never ends.</i> We all continue in some way-- whether as an inspiring memory or as an actively guiding force, I don't know. But we go on, carried forward in space and time, in memory and action. Our echoes remain.<br />
<br />
<i>Requiescat in pace,</i> Marissa.<br />
<br />
<br />
<hr /><br />
<br />
*In recent months, blogging duties had fallen to Marissa's cousin Megan.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-3902417187282475102011-08-21T02:10:00.002-04:002011-08-21T03:19:39.755-04:00sorry for the lack of updatesIt's been a while since I last wrote anything on this blog. Here's a quick and dirty update:<br />
<br />
My mother's Honda Civic died on me back in June-- the transmission had had enough, I guess. I ended up selling the car to the guy who towed it: he's an Armenian who runs his own combination gas station, used car lot, and towing service. Nice guy. He gave me $2000 for the car, which is about what I'd been hoping for.<br />
<br />
At my brother David's suggestion, I got myself a used Honda Fit from a local dealer; it's a 2008 model and runs quite well. Given my scarily long commute to work (90 miles, round trip, every day), I've already put over 4000 miles on the car, which had only 38,000 miles on it when I bought it. Well, "bought" isn't exactly the word: I'm financing the car through Capital One, and I've had to upgrade my insurance to full coverage, so it's more like <i>the car bought me:</i> I'm a slave to it. The Fit's not perfect, either: all of its tires need changing. I'm hoping this doesn't become a safety issue before I have the money to change everything. The last thing I need is to plow into a ditch at 80 miles an hour because of a popped tire.<br />
<br />
My job has been good to me: I'm happy with my bosses and coworkers, and have gotten more or less used to the strange 3-on-1 tutoring format (three students and one teacher, with each student being of a different grade and working on a different subject). Most of the kids I teach are pretty good, and I've enjoyed an expanded summer schedule. Unfortunately, the job doesn't pay nearly as much as I need to be paid to cover my expenses, so I've been gunning for a new job at Manhattan GRE, a company that pays $100 an hour to employees who teach GRE prep. You can't work for MGRE, however, unless you're able to score at least a 730 on the Verbal and an 800 on the Quantitative. I took the GRE in July and scored 710 on each (along with-- to my delight-- a 5.5 out of 6 on the Analytical Writing section, which put me in the 94th percentile). Just to put my scores in perspective: a 710 Verbal is 98th percentile, but a 730 would be 99th. A 710 Quant is, alas, barely in the 80th percentile: even a perfect Quant score is 94th percentile. I guess most GRE test-takers are generally better at math than they are at language.<br />
<br />
This coming Friday, August 26th, I'm taking the GRE again, and will try yet again three more times this year if I can: you're allowed one try per month, up to five times a year. In the meantime, since I can't spend months waiting for test results, I'm hanging out my own tutoring shingle. To that end, I've created a website called <i>Time, Effort, and Focus</i>; it's still a work in progress, but you can see the About page <a href="http://seongdo.blogspot.com/p/about.html">here</a>. My hope is to make some extra money through private tutoring.<br />
<br />
I also recently renewed my apartment rental contract. All of these things-- the car trouble, the job, the tutoring, the apartment, etc.-- they all point to the fact that I won't be going on my trans-American walk anytime soon, not unless one of my readers is a multimillionaire with several thousand dollars to spare! So stay tuned, but don't expect much walk-related blogging for the next few months. Until I get my financial house in order (and this is taking longer than expected), I won't be moving forward with the walk. At this point, I'd say I won't be walking until sometime in 2012, at the earliest. My finances come first. I'm sure you understand, and I thank you for your patience.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-24169409938569285222011-06-21T13:46:00.000-04:002011-06-21T13:46:14.201-04:00setbacksSorry for the lack of updates here, but life's been stressful, especially over the past week: my car decided to die on me, so I'm currently in the process of acquiring a new (used) car, and am driving around my buddy's sedan while he and his family are on vacation in their SUV. Would love for the skies simply to rain $100 bills for about an hour or so; that would solve a lot of immediate problems! But this is the real world, so the solutions available to me are messy and arduous. More on this drama as it unfolds.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-44349463397025566162011-06-10T11:14:00.000-04:002011-06-10T11:14:32.983-04:00a good resourceFor those trying to stay current with new developments in brain cancer research, I'm happy to note that the news website Science Daily (sciencedaily.com) has <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/news/health_medicine/brain_tumor/">a section devoted entirely to that very topic</a>. I'll be bookmarking this.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-77924678956564167832011-06-04T20:02:00.000-04:002011-06-04T20:02:41.693-04:00over the fenceMany thanks to old family friend Jin Kang for his $150 contribution to the cause. I was previously $50 under my goal of $800, and now I'm $100 over.<br />
<br />
In the ensuing weeks and months, I'll be writing more about the progress toward establishing a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, but for now I just want to say thank you to all the people who have contributed money. Monetarily speaking, I can now successfully file for exemption status, but there are still a few things I need to do in terms of paperwork and administration (a 501[c][3] is supposed to have a board of directors!).<br />
<br />
So stay tuned.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-1864088463937471462011-06-03T22:30:00.000-04:002011-06-03T22:30:38.479-04:00Marissa's miracleMarissa blogs about her recent experience at Houston's MD Anderson Cancer Center <a href="http://maparks.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-mircale.html">here</a>. In a week or so, a followup MRI will be done, and the team will see where to go from there.<br />
<br />
It's not irrational to hope that she's in for a long-- perhaps indefinite-- reprieve from the ravages of this monster. She's at a point where it's conceivable that she might be one of the lucky few who get to walk around essentially cancer-free for years and years. I do so hope that's the case.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-31377201091355535142011-06-02T10:49:00.000-04:002011-06-02T10:49:48.120-04:00$50 from the goalMany thanks to Maven, who very kindly mailed me a money order for $100. We're close. We're close to a point where I can fill out some paperwork and really get this 501(c)(3) thing rolling.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-91018398765428942132011-05-31T10:58:00.000-04:002011-05-31T10:58:32.572-04:00short weekLast week was a short week for me, since I didn't have any classes to teach last Wednesday, but this week is also short because we were all off on Monday. Feels a bit unreal.<br />
<br />
In other news: I'm still trying to figure out how best to market my speaking gigs. Perhaps the best thing to do is to hit up the local Korean community and start there, but I suspect that the primary audience for a talk about glioblastoma and the need for proactive patient advocacy will be found elsewhere. So as the marketers would ask: who's the target demographic? If you've visited <a href="http://is.gd/dlfNV7">the eBay listing</a>, you know that I took a stab at what I thought the target market was: friends and families of GBM victims. But even though GBM is the most common of the various types of brain cancer, it's still fairly rare in terms of the entire US population. I can't possibly expect to gather those scattered folks together for a series of speaking engagements.<br />
<br />
Maybe the focus should be more on Mom and the walk. Instead of aiming directly at affected families, I need to take the personal angle-- put a face on GBM by describing Mom and what we've gone through, then talk about the walk that I'm hoping to do. Up to now, I've been assuming that the approach should be to mention the walk only at the very end of the presentation: "Proceeds from tonight's talk will help fund the upcoming walk, and will be placed in the [future] 501(c)(3), etc."<br />
<br />
In any event, I'm looking at another short week, which means tighter-than-usual finances.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-90746255942100110662011-05-28T21:36:00.004-04:002011-05-29T18:34:59.556-04:00I hope she's OKI find myself thinking a lot about <a href="http://maparks.blogspot.com/">Marissa Parks</a> today. She went in for her first major brain surgery yesterday (Friday), and I'm hoping to hear from her father sometime this weekend. Because I know how draining this process is, I'll understand completely if he doesn't want to talk. I probably wouldn't want to talk, either.<br />
<br />
Marissa's story hasn't followed the same path as my mother's. Normally, when it comes to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glioblastoma_multiforme">GBM</a>, debulking (i.e., the removal-- surgeons call it <i>resection</i>-- of the major part of the initial cancerous mass) occurs at the very beginning, very soon after it's been determined that the mass is in fact a glioblastoma. One reason for this is to relieve intracranial pressure; another is to get rid of as much of the cancer as possible. My mother's own path through treatment followed this standard pattern; in Marissa's case, however, it was determined that the location of her initial mass would make excision of the tumor difficult. Marissa went right into the standard one-two punch of radio- and chemotherapy, and there were, last I heard, some positive results from all that. Still, GBMs are persistent, and the latest MRIs showed evidence of neoplastic tissue (i.e., new cancerous growth). This turn of events, coupled with the fact that corticosteroids haven't been helping with the intracranial pressure, is what necessitates the current surgery. Luckily, Marissa chose MD Anderson. Smart lady.<br />
<br />
I've never met Marissa or her parents. I've corresponded with her, briefly, and have read her blog, on those rare occasions when she sits still enough to update it. I've talked to Marissa's dad a couple times by phone, and have emailed with him quite a few times. The picture I have of Marissa is that she's a young, strong-willed, independent lady, bursting with life. She's a <i>doer;</i> sitting down to write updates for a blog cuts in on the time she'd rather be spending with friends, or fundraising, or just living life. I hope she has the chance to keep doing this. I hope she has years ahead of her. None of us knows when the Fates will snip the threads of our existence, so it's important to live in appreciation of every moment we have. <br />
<br />
My heart goes out to Marissa's parents. I imagine their daughter is in the ICU, resting after her surgery, and looking as if she's just been in a fight. I know what it means to hold vigil over someone in a bed, hooked up to monitors and tubes; I know what it means to interpret every twitch of the recumbent person's form as if it were filled with meaning. I know how it feels when that person starts to wake up, when you squeeze her hand and she finally-- <i>finally</i> squeezes back. And I know what it means, after the person wakes up, to be flooded with those conflicting emotions: the angel on one shoulder that says <i>It's going to be all right, now,</i> and the demon on the other shoulder that whispers, <i>Yes, but just for now. Just for now. Only for now.</i><br />
<br />
Some of my readers know exactly what I'm talking about. It's hard to experience such a situation and to take something good from it. To my mind, the only good that comes out of such vigils is the keen awareness of the passage of every single moment, the drip and pulse and breath of life in all its harmony and rhythm.<br />
<br />
For now, we wait.<br />
<br />
I sincerely hope Marissa's OK.<br />
<br />
<br />
UPDATE, Sunday, May 29, 2011, 10:29AM: Almost an hour ago, Marissa <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/MParks18">tweeted</a> this:<br />
<br />
<b>happy :)</b><br />
<br />
<br />
UPDATE 2, 5/29/11, 6:33PM: Marissa wrote me to say the surgeons got "100%" of what they were looking for. The fact that she's well enough to be writing messages (and using emoticons) is a great, great sign.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-4927194074389730082011-05-27T12:18:00.000-04:002011-05-27T12:18:27.393-04:00just another $150 to goAnother $150, and I'll have the means to start this 501(c)(3) process in earnest. Maybe I need to sell more stuff on eBay...<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-12507829877862215372011-05-23T09:30:00.001-04:002011-05-23T09:31:39.884-04:00official weigh-inAs it turns out, I broke the rules for induction yesterday and the day before when I mindlessly gobbled some Costco-bought hummus. Today's weigh-in still counts as official, though; I feel I've done enough in doing nearly two weeks of practically carb-free living.<br />
<br />
First, the news on how I look: I look exactly the same as I did two weeks ago. No change at all when I see myself in the mirror. Even if I had managed to lose over 20 pounds (which I haven't), I'd still look the same. Experience has shown me this every time I've attempted a diet: it takes a few decades of pounds before I can see a change (and feel it in my waistline). This time around, I need to hit the century mark before I can feel truly healthy. Getting down to 200 (from about 300, pre-Atkins) is the goal. It'll make hiking a lot easier, keep me more focused, alert, and energetic, and improve my life in all sorts of other ways.<br />
<br />
But enough dithering. The results of the official weigh-in:<br />
<br />
289.5 pounds (131.6 kg, 20.68 stone), down from a starting weight of 296.<br />
<br />
That's my lowest weight in a while. Not much of a loss, given the previous two days' stumbling (I bought the hummus this past Saturday), and the gaffes I'd made early on in induction (e.g., eating too much, eating only at night-- the latter not being a gaffe so much as the result of my work schedule). So for two weeks on the Atkins Diet, I have almost 7 pounds of weight loss to show for it. I'm barely-- <i>just</i> barely-- in the 280s, and have another 80 pounds to go.<br />
<br />
I don't plan on restarting induction, and I do plan to reintroduce carbs to my diet. But I've learned that I can live a low-carb existence without going crazy, so even though I won't be formally pursuing Atkins from this point forward, I'll be eating more moderately and keeping the carb levels down. I'm also going to start exercising again; this has traditionally been my most effective weight loss method (Atkins has never totally sat well with me; any diet that says "no fruit for two weeks!" is at least partly insane). So wish me luck. We're shifting gears.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-34093221491713907912011-05-21T01:39:00.003-04:002011-05-21T03:00:25.520-04:00you go, Marissa!<a href="http://maparks.blogspot.com">Marissa Parks</a> is celebrating her very own special day: Marissa Parks Day, officially May 21 in the great state of Georgia. I've written about Marissa before; she's a young lady in her mid-20s who was diagnosed with GBM a few months ago. She's chosen to live her life to the fullest extent possible, and from what I hear from her father, she's a bundle of energy, fiercely independent, and a woman with <i>goals.</i> One of them, at the moment, is for her to participate in an upcoming walk to raise awareness about brain cancer. Marissa and her dad are both amazing fundraisers and boosters; I could learn a thing or two from them. <br />
<br />
Marissa has chosen to stick with the good docs at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. As she notes in her latest blog post, she'll be undergoing a second surgery-- it sounds as if she'll finally be having the "debulking" that was denied her at the outset. It's unclear whether this will be a partial or full debulking... then again, no surgery ever removes 100% of the cancerous tissue: GBM tumors tend to be "fuzzy" at the edges, which is why it's dangerous to try to remove them completely: a surgeon risks taking out functional brain tissue as well.<br />
<br />
I've had exchanges with Marissa's intrepid father, Brad, on several occasions. For privacy's sake, I don't want to comment here on what we've said to each other over the phone and via email, but I think Marissa's lucky to have such a father: he's proactive, decisive, aggressively inquisitive, and very much in his daughter's corner. One thing Brad and I agree on is that <i>no one</i> knows when their time will be up. In that sense, cancer or not, we're all in the same boat. There's no harm in wanting to live as full a life as possible, and Marissa's doing just that. I admire her attitude, and her dad is very proud of her.<br />
<br />
My hat is off to the whole Parks family, as well as to Marissa's wonderful friends, who provide her with so much support.<br />
<br />
Happy Marissa Parks Day! (Someone needs to write a Wikipedia entry about you, M!)<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-58224322166072775312011-05-16T12:46:00.001-04:002011-05-16T14:19:19.232-04:00official weigh-inAfter one week on the Atkins Diet, I've gone from 296 pounds to 291.3 pounds. That may simply be what folks colloquially refer to as "water weight," but at least it's something. As mentioned before, there seems to have been little or no ketosis (the strip did change color, ever so slightly, when I peed on it), but it may be that ketosis, for me, may take longer than it does for others.<br />
<br />
I haven't started exercising yet, and don't plan to start until after the induction period is over. There ought to be more weight loss once I begin walking and lifting (the apartment complex has a gym that I haven't used even once since moving in). Keep those fingers and tentacles crossed.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-47972604227380774952011-05-15T16:16:00.002-04:002011-05-15T16:16:38.597-04:00stay tunedUpcoming posts in the "lessons learned" series include:<br />
<br />
7. tents versus bivy sacks (and how not to lose your damn tent)<br />
8. traffic, narrow road shoulders, and me<br />
9. weight, conditioning, and knees<br />
10. shoes, blisters, and weather<br />
11. food, drink, peeing, and pooping while on the road<br />
12. protection from the sun, wind, rain, and cold<br />
13. whether REI is just for elites/snobs with money<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-76354702024979225972011-05-14T11:21:00.000-04:002011-05-14T11:21:38.901-04:00little to no ketosisSo I used my first ketone strip a few minutes ago, and the result isn't very promising: as far as I can tell, there's been little to no ketosis over the past five days. I also weighed myself, and noticed that I had gained weight in the past day or two: the scale said 295, a net loss of a single pound. This comes as a disappointment after what seemed to be a steady loss since Monday (OK, I admit I peeked and checked my weight earlier).<br />
<br />
So what's been going wrong?<br />
<br />
I know that my adherence to the diet has been scrupulous in terms of what foods to eat and what to avoid. There have been no sweets aside from those expensive Atkins bars and shakes (which are permissible on the diet, though not in great quantities). The proteins have all been of the permissible kind-- no processed meats or anything pre-sauced or pre-crusted. The vegetables have all been either leafy greens or crucifers like cauliflower and broccoli-- no carrots or tomatoes* or anything else verboten.<br />
<br />
All I can think is that my eating schedule is a problem, and possibly the <i>quantities</i> I've been eating. The first night, Monday night, I sat down to two chicken breasts plus a pork rib-- all merely salted and peppered and then pan-fried-- plus a large load of broccoli and cauliflower. I was stuffed by the end of that meal, but the following morning I saw I had already lost a pound. The second night was eggs and broccoli soup; again, I woke up and discovered, to my delight, another one-pound loss. I didn't buy those Atkins bars and shakes until Wednesday, and never ate more than two bars per day (which, come to think of it, may be a violation of the rules for the induction process; it could be that the bars are there to <i>replace</i> meals, not act as between-meal snacks). On Wednesday night, I had ground beef done up burger-style, plus spinach. On Thursday, I had salmon and chorizo (I checked the chorizo ingredients list and nutrition facts before buying: only 1g of carbs per serving) along with my spinach. Yesterday, Friday, was shrimp plus the rest of my broccoli soup from earlier in the week.<br />
<br />
But each night, I was eating until I was stuffed, and I also had hunks of Monterrey Jack cheese waiting for me during my non-meal hours (essentially, the hours between 11PM and bedtime, which is usually around 3:30AM).<br />
<br />
It could be that a bad eating schedule, combined with the huge portion sizes, and possibly also the introduction of those Atkins shakes and bars, have contributed to a near-lack of ketosis. I may have to get stricter about portion control, and may also have to avoid the temptation of the Atkins products. The latter won't be hard to do: they don't taste very good, and they're far too expensive: imagine paying $7 for a four-pack of 11-ounce "chocolate" shakes. That's nearly two dollars for about two swallows of ersatz milkshake. Not worth it.<br />
<br />
I'm doing induction for the full two-week period, and my "official" weigh-in for this week isn't until Monday morning, but right now, things aren't looking good. It may also be that my body reacts differently to Atkins than my brother's does; I vaguely remember this being the case the last time I tried Atkins, years ago. For me, the best results have typically come from huge amounts of exercise coupled with smaller portions. That's what thinned me out when I lived in Switzerland: all the hiking.<br />
<br />
But we'll see. It's too early to jump ship. I can't do much about my eating schedule, as I mentioned before, but I can reduce portions, avoid the Atkins products, and keep eating those diet-friendly proteins and vegetables. As my brother pointed out, not everyone can see results after X amount of time; some of us just take longer.<br />
<br />
<br />
<hr><br />
<br />
*While allowed on Atkins, tomatoes can only be eaten in very small quantities.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-68490809168833159132011-05-11T13:20:00.000-04:002011-05-11T13:20:04.033-04:00mealsAfter two days on Atkins (Monday and Tuesday), I can already feel something of an improvement: no pre-diabetic headaches or blurred vision, and while it's premature to say anything about this, I suspect that a very tiny bit of weight loss has already occurred. I don't want to fall into the psychological trap of daily weigh-ins, so I'll wait until next Monday to report an "official" weight. <br />
<br />
Tonight, when I'm done with work, I need to buy some Atkins products-- shakes and the like-- as well as more vegetables and proteins. With the sweet tooth I have, I'm already craving chocolate. I'm also going to have to curb the amount I eat at night; the first night, I think I ate way too much. Here are the previous two nights' meals (remember: I don't eat before work, so my only meal of the day happens around 11PM):<br />
<br />
Monday night: 2 chicken breasts, a couple chunks of pork (all seasoned with only salt and pepper, and fried up in a skillet); a steamed mix of broccoli and cauliflower, seasoned with salt, pepper, and a dusting of garlic powder, and fortified with a bit of butter.<br />
<br />
Tuesday night: soup made from frozen broccoli and leftover spinach, with butter and cream cheese added for robustness, seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic, and a dash of paprika. For protein: scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese.<br />
<br />
All of the above is very nice, but the sugar demon trapped inside my head is screaming that I need to eat six Lindt chocolate truffles <i>right now</i>.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-78966486316149786122011-05-10T22:30:00.000-04:002011-05-10T22:30:51.531-04:00no RSVPsThus far, not a single student has RSVPed about the May 20 meeting. I'm beginning to think that my brothers and certain blog commenters are right: asking high schoolers to volunteer for this sort of work (i.e., helping me plan my upcoming walk) may be asking too much. I'd rather not believe that; most of the students I tutor are sharp, motivated, and creative. Some even have quite an activist bent. Why wouldn't that demographic want to help out with a project like this?<br />
<br />
Part of the answer is, I suspect, timing: summer's coming soon, and students are thinking about vacation. Volunteering for a massive project <i>now,</i> when the year is effectively coming to an end, may simply feel like more <i>work</i> to the kids. I also heard from one student that his mother won't allow him to participate. This makes sense: many of those sharp, motivated, creative kids are being told by their parents to keep their focus on their studies; anything else is a mere diversion. (<a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html">Tiger Mother</a>, anyone? No drama class, no sports, and no musical instruments other than violin and piano!)<br />
<br />
Unless someone pipes up this week-- a <i>few</i> someones would be better-- I may just scrap the May 20 meeting and try this again in September. Stay tuned.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-91504408127947031132011-05-10T12:54:00.000-04:002011-05-10T12:54:33.678-04:00Happy Buddha's Birthday!For those who celebrate Vesak (known in Korea by various names, such as <i>Seokga Tanshin-il,</i> or <i>Bucheonim Oshin-nal,</i> or <i>Bultan-jeol</i>), I wish you a Happy Buddha's Birthday! <i>Seong-bul hashipshio!</i> May you attain Buddhahood.<br />
<br />
Dalma Daesa (Bodhidharma), First Patriarch of Zen Buddhism, is here to cheer us all on:<br />
<br />
<br />
<center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Generic%20Blog%20Stuff%2001/Dalma2011a.jpg"></center><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-36347710283528970342011-05-09T00:45:00.000-04:002011-05-09T00:45:40.820-04:00true startWe've already had the <a href="http://kevinswalk.blogspot.com/2011/04/false-start.html">false start</a>. Now, at last, I stand at the threshold of the Atkins Diet two-week induction period. No more spare food to worry about, so <i>the diet starts now.</i> Wish me luck. Official weight at start time: 296 pounds. If, after two weeks, I don't see significant weight loss, I'll have to rethink my strategy.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-4194674259313957312011-05-07T02:41:00.000-04:002011-11-21T20:43:47.019-05:00lessons learned #6: traveling lightDuring my 2008 walk, my knees were vulnerable for a number of reasons, all of them weight-related. First there was the problem of my own weight: I began my walk at about the same weight I am now: around 295 pounds. Next, there was the variable weight of my backpack, which hovered somewhere in the neighborhood of sixty pounds, but fluctuated depending on how much water I was carrying. <br />
<br />
On the assumption that my calves, if chopped off and set on a scale, weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 pounds together, I surmise that the pressure on my knees-- the weight pressing down on them from above-- was always around 300 pounds, i.e., about 150 pounds per knee. The situation was ripe for some sort of repetitive stress injury, especially on those days when I was walking more than fifteen miles.<br />
<br />
Traveling light is important when you're hiking, but not always possible when you're hiking long distances. Although my walks were, for the most part, along roadways, distance is distance, and the stress of the miles adds up. There are various ways to travel light, and I'd like to spend the rest of this essay discussing mistakes I made during the 2008 walk, especially early on, and possible future strategies for the upcoming walk (which is looking more and more like something to do early next year).<br />
<br />
First, let's talk about clothing. I had already hiked a long ways, from White Rock, British Columbia to Kent, Washington, when I met Rico Simpkins-- thinker, experienced hiker/traveler, REI employee, CouchSurfer, and all-around guru. He took a look at my pack and declared that I had brought along all the wrong clothing: there were sweatpants and sweatshirts made of heavy weave that simply shouldn't have been there. I ended up sending a lot of this stuff back home, but the pack contained other heavy items, like spiral-bound book-form maps to help me navigate the routes I was traveling. I had also thought about making money along the way by doing some art, so I had purchased and brought along a paint set. Other heavy items included heavy-duty tent stakes (which did, in fact, prove useful at several points along the walk), a set of large carabiners that I ended up using only once (and not for climbing, either), and a pair of boots. Many of these items got sent back to Virginia rather late in the walk, but as I reached the high desert, the pounds I had shed by sending back the heavy items were replaced by the extra water I had to carry.<br />
<br />
I know better, now, than to pack so much stuff. The clothing angle is probably the easiest problem to deal with: avoid the heavier materials and stick with the lighter, hi-tech threads. I had done this with my pants, but not with my shirts and jackets. I also learned, while walking down the spine of Washington State, that it was fairly useless for me to wear a rain jacket: I sweated so much inside the the jacket that I still ended up soaked and cold. The remedy for that problem was and is an ancient one: keep yourself warm by continuing to walk. Save the jacket and other dry clothes for later, when you camp.<br />
<br />
The map problem is also soluble: take along a smart phone and <a href="http://kevinswalk.blogspot.com/2011/04/lessons-learned-3-forgotten-topic.html">a decent power source</a>, and you've got access to Google Maps. No more heavy paper maps that way.*<br />
<br />
Footwear can be an issue; mountain hiking generally requires boots that can support your ankles, whereas road hiking-- which is generally devoid of tricky roots, boulders, and treacherously angled gravel paths-- requires only a decent pair of walking shoes. Rico took me to the REI flagship store in Seattle to hook me up with a pair of such shoes; I still have them.<br />
<br />
Up to now, I haven't said much about actual camping gear, and that's because most of my gear is about as light as it can get. One thing I might change, however, is my tent: although it's a great little tent, it relies on stakes. This time around, I think I'm going to purchase a <a href="http://www.rei.com/product/799530/outdoor-research-highland-bivy-sack">bivy sack</a>. At two pounds, bivy sacks are slightly lighter than my current tent, and many of them require no stakes. The blow-away problem is worse for bivy sacks than it is for tents, but I've learned my lesson after my debacle in 2008.<br />
<br />
Along with the weight-saving measures mentioned above, other measures are possible. The one I've been contemplating for a while is some sort of jury-rigged contraption that can be harnessed to me and pulled along while I walk. Commenters have suggested a pushcart, but I don't like the idea of walking without my hands free. The "wheeled travois," for lack of a better term, should ideally be collapsible, and light enough to store inside my backpack (or be strapped to its exterior) for those times when I either feel like backpacking or have to deal with wheel-unfriendly terrain.<br />
<br />
The point of all of this is to minimize the pressure on my knees. Weight loss, the use of lightweight clothing and camping gear, the exclusion of superfluous travel items-- all of these measures will be essential if this new walk is to succeed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<hr><br />
<br />
*Some commenters have suggested that paper maps might not be bad a thing, but I recall one of my Army friends telling me that paper maps are a problem in anything but perfect weather. Once you factor in the cost and effort of laminating such maps (which would have to be cut down to manageably-sized panels), you begin to see how much of a burden they are.Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-29125161276828399312011-05-06T17:04:00.003-04:002011-05-06T17:05:13.230-04:00thank you, Dr. Steve!My long-time friend, <a href="http://www.bucks.edu/~docarmos/docarmo.html">Dr. Steve</a>, recently sent in his $100 contribution to the cause.<br />
<br />
Many thanks, man.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-79388988055499826502011-05-05T11:42:00.002-04:002011-05-05T11:42:48.819-04:00many thanks to AnonymousMy PayPal total now stands at $554.64, thanks to the latest contribution.<br />
<br />
All glory, laud, and honor to Anonymous!<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-32915566950665997122011-05-04T09:00:00.002-04:002011-05-04T09:00:12.854-04:00Happy Birthday, MomShe would have been 68 today, this little woman who meant so much to her family and friends. I'd be lying if I told you that the passage of more than sixteen months has blunted the pain of Mom's loss. I look at all these photos we have of her, and feel as if they had been taken just yesterday.<br />
<br />
It <i>was</i> just yesterday-- when we all sat down to a Mother's Day meal at a super-expensive restaurant in northern Virginia, enjoying a rare extravagance; when we stood on the deck of The Maid of the Mist and got soaked by Niagara Falls; when we sat at a trestle table behind my French exchange parents' house in Carquefou, France, and enjoyed one of many family meals together; when we watched with pride as Mom spoke to a crowd in her capacity as Korean-American Women's Society president; when we listened to her tearful stories about the horrors she endured in the Korean War; when we were kids whom she helped get dressed for Halloween or school or church or an overnight with friends, running happily out of Mom's reach while she stood and smiled.<br />
<br />
She would have been 68 today, and now all we have are these memories.<br />
<br />
<center><br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay01.jpg" title="Mom with her favorite son, Maqz the chihuahua, whom she pampered"><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay02.jpg"title="in Hawaii"><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay03.jpg" title="on Skyline Drive, in Shenandoah National Park, with Sean (L) and Kevin (R)"><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay04.jpg" title="2009, with David at National Airport, on one of Mom's exercise days"><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay05.jpg" title="Sean hugging Mom in the kitchen, a moment caught by one of our cousins"><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/beeeghominid/Mom%20Memorial%20Photo%20Tribute/2011MomsBDay06.jpg" title="Mom's hand in mine while at the ER"></center><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-86231216585879774102011-05-03T22:41:00.000-04:002011-05-03T22:41:00.310-04:00$40 an hourThe cost to rent space at Woodson High School for the May 20 meeting is, according to the WTWHS activities director, $40 an hour. Yikes. I'm going to be filling out the form for the first meeting, but I honestly can't see myself meeting weekly and spending $80 per week to do so.<br />
<br />
So the question is: does anyone live in a nice, big, sprawling home that might be usable by a motley group of planners (a group still of indeterminate size; no one has RSVP'ed me yet)? Or does anyone go to a house of worship in the Fairfax area-- one that would allow a group to meet for free? Don't be shy about leaving a comment or sending an email. We're going to need a regular meeting space.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8116478946778818081.post-67646094868925715892011-05-01T20:37:00.000-04:002011-05-01T20:37:14.952-04:00my apologies to the recipients of the first fliersIn reviewing the "Kevin's Walk" fliers I'd made, I found some embarrassing gaffes resulting from poor editing. Among them was an unintentionally funny line in which I said something like "I haven't fixed a date for our first meeting," immediately followed, on the very next line, by "the first meeting will be on May 20th." Whoops. I had arrived at a date while I was writing that part of the flier, but on the word processor, I had neglected to change all references to the <i>lack</i> of a meeting date.<br />
<br />
The flier's been revised, and will be recopied and reissued to my colleagues to pass out to high school students. Sorry, everyone.<br />
<br />
<br />
_Kevin Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328790917314282058noreply@blogger.com0