"Walking is bad for you."

The man saw me as I was heading into the gas station convenience store; he called out to me as I was crossing the parking lot: "Where ya' headed?"

"Washington, DC," I said, even though I'm never sure why I say that. For all I know, I'll hit the Atlantic while in New England. Or maybe I'll be on the coast of Georgia.

"What for?" the man asked. He was an older gentleman, slight of build. For some reason I was reminded of Hume Cronyn in "Cocoon."

"For religious reasons," I said.

There was a long pause. Then the man asked, "Got a phone?"

"Sure," I said. I thought it might be rude to follow up with a blunt, "Why?", so I said nothing further.

The man suddenly pulled out a banana-yellow business card and handed it to me.

"Walking is bad for you," he declared. "It reduces muscle mass. Sure, you'll lose weight, but you'll also be weaker." I was ready to laugh in the man's face: I remember how beneficial walking was when I lived in Switzerland, where I had walked and done other exercises like pullups and gained muscle mass while losing weight.

"Call me up sometime and I'll give you a workout," the man said.

"Thank you!" I said with deliberate overenthusiasm. He nodded and we went our separate ways.

The business card says he's got a Bachelor of Science in Health and Physical Education from Walla Walla College. I do sense a great deal of BS about this guy, but hey-- if you're interested in learning more about his miraculous, 20 minutes-per-week exercise plan, leave a comment and I'll be happy to send you his contact info.


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