Friday, May 23, 2008

how to look thinner than one really is



Fat people often employ certain tricks to appear slightly thinner on camera than they actually are. While the camera's cruel gaze might add weight to you skinny people, we fatties know that it's all about angle, posture, and breath.

The above photo might seem to present a contrast with the more blubberous photo in the previous post, but no Photoshopping was done. If I appear thinner in the above photo than in the previous post's image, it's because I did three things:

1. I angled my face in a way that made my eyes look bigger and drew my chin away from the camera. I also made sure the shot was from above the waist;

2. I propped both of my arms on doorjambs, which pulled my tee shirt up, thereby straightening the shirt's fabric and-- witness my evil genius-- minimizing the spare tire;

3. I used my soft palate to block breath through my nose (this happens naturally if you snore, but you can also do it on command), closed my mouth, then tried to suck in a breath just before the camera's timer took the shot. What this does is pull your double chin a ways into your head, making it less visible to the camera. The trick is useless when talking to people; you'd have to hold your breath the entire time. But for a quick shot with a digicam, the trick helps in the overall charade.

No Photoshop necessary.

By the way, that photo's going to be the new pic for the sidebar link image I'm currently constructing. Get used to the hairiness.


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1 comment:

melancholy donut said...

hey there good lookin! ready to walk?