Monday, December 21, 2009

bad news

I'll write more later, but right now, the docs have told us that, based on Mom's latest MRI (done today), her cancer has spread too much throughout her brain for anyone to do anything. Debulking the large mass would kill her; attempting the intra-arterial Avastin procedure would cause too much bleeding, and would also likely kill her. Mom also no longer qualifies for the treatment because her Karnofsky score (an indication of her ability to function on her own) has fallen too low. At this point, Dr. Boockvar's prognosis is that Mom has about three months to live. He told us this news from sunny Florida.

We're stunned, we're disappointed, we're angry, we're sad, and right now, we're all very quiet. We'll be keeping in touch with Dr. Boockvar, who might have some palliative treatment options to discuss with us, and we'll be talking with Dr. Fine's team as well. Dr. Boockvar's feeling was that the prescription of carboplatin-- which I knew early on was doing nothing for Mom-- amounted to an admission that nothing more could be done; he hastened to explain that that was merely his opinion.

We'll have to start looking into hospice care and other final arrangements. Right now, though, the world just doesn't feel real.

Our thanks to Renée Molina and her boyfriend Ron for visiting us at our hotel room. I wish we had better news for the world, but then again, we've known from the beginning how the story would end.


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5 comments:

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Kevin.

Take good care of your mother . . . as you always have.

Jeffery Hodges

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Charles said...

I'm trying to find words here, but none seem to fit. All I can say is that I am truly sorry to hear this, and that you, your mother, and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nomad said...

Kevin,

I'm very sorry to hear this latest news. Stay strong, for your mother and father both.

Frank

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear this news. No other words seem appropriate.

Take care.

-JMac

Anonymous said...

Right now only a big bear hug seems to be an adequate way to convey our sadness about the devastating news you have just received. You can take comfort in knowing that you have done everything and gone wherever to do anything that held any ray of hope for Suk's recovery.

As a family, you have given Suk the great gift of love and care that she has given you all your lives. Kevin, you have posted priceless stories of how your mom has given everyone her own responses of love that are just as genuine, though different than they have been in the past. Even these trips to New York have been times when all of you are together--something that your mom recognized and is grateful for.

So cherish each moment, each hug, each smile, each laugh (like when Kevin wiggled his nose), each breath. These are gifts that will remain with you forever as will the love that Suk has poured into each of you for so many years.

May God grant each of you courage and peace for the coming days, surround you with arms of loving comfort, and bear you up when the moments get too much. And may our Lord cradle Suk in his loving arms as she prepares for the new life to come.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Mary W.