before I go any further

On behalf of our family, I'd like to thank everyone who has helped us during our trial. Whether you've given us money or food or cards or emails or some other form of comfort, we thank you.

Yes, we even thank some of the creepy ajummas who have insisted on ignoring our repeated requests to call 24 hours in advance before visiting us-- some of whom have even tried barging into our house after knocking on our door, too impatient to wait for us to come to the door and answer. While such behavior has added to our stress, not lessened it, we understand that the intentions behind the behavior have been good. [NB: the majority of the ajummas who have visited us have been much more scrupulous, so I hope no one thinks I'm casting aspersions on all ajummas everywhere. In point of fact, most of the ajummas guilty of the behavior I'm talking about don't even bother to read this blog-- and not for lack of English skills.]

We've received a lot of love from all corners, including right here in New York. Our thanks go out to the New Yorkers who have offered us cheap alternatives to staying at our current digs. We haven't taken you up on your offers yet, mainly because we've already extended our stay to Saturday, and because the Helmsley Medical Tower sits right next to New York Presbyterian Hospital. Mom is just a quick walk away, and that fact is precious to us.

I wasn't there for it, but based on what I heard from Dad and my aunt, Mom had a great time at the Washington Korean Women's Society Christmas gala. It lifted her spirits to see so many friends, coming to her in wave after wave of love. Dad is the one who had felt that attending the party would be beneficial to Mom; I had been less optimistic. Hats off to Dad, then, for following his gut and allowing Mom to experience an evening overflowing with joy.

So many people have played a role in Mom's care, each person doing something special. Whether the gestures were gracefully performed or hopelessly gauche, we appreciate the love and concern motivating each and every person who has felt moved to do something for Mom and for the rest of our family.

To all of you I say: Thank You and Merry Christmas. We haven't done any of the things we'd have liked to do this year: set up our tree, decorate our home, prepare gifts and cakes and cookies, mail out a barrage of cards and letters, drive over to nearby friends' houses with gifts. This isn't the Christmas we imagined we'd be having-- even as recently as two weeks ago, we had thought we could manage some sort of quasi-Christmas-ish celebration, with Mom on her way to a temporary recovery thanks to the Avastin that would have been busily shrinking her tumors. But that was not to be. For that reason among others, we rely even more strongly on the kindness and goodwill of our circles of care during this, our sadly silent night.


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